Sixteen Stones

This morning I listened to the Tabernacle Choir Broadcast celebrating Independence Day. I was particularly moved by Lloyd Newell’s words on patriotism. The questions were asked, “why do we have parades? Why do flags fly? Why do soldiers wear uniforms?” Bro. Newell explained that when we see the flag flying or hear patriotic music playing, it stirs and swells feelings of loyalty and allegiance in our hearts as we remember the hard-fought battle for freedom these symbols bring to mind.

I’m thinking of another hard-fought battle for freedom. One that took place in premortal realms. What are the symbols that remind me of that time and place – the symbols that swell loyalty and allegiance in my heart for the freedoms won in that painful altercation? A Primary song comes to mind…”Whenever I hear the song of a bird or look at the blue, blue sky, whenever I feel the rain on my face or the wind as it rushes by, whenever I touch a velvet rose or walk by our lilac tree, I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.” (Clara W. McMaster, Children’s Songbook, pg. 228). That I have a body and live in this beautiful world is evidence enough of where I stood in that battle. Symbol of the freedom I have inherited in heavenly realms.

Whether rejoicing in the freedom of my native America, or in the blessing of a body and a lovely world around me to enjoy, responsibility is required. I pledge allegiance to my nation as I reverence the sacrifices made that I may live and grow in freedom. I pledge allegiance to the Source and blessing of eternal freedom as I reverence the sacrifice of my Savior, of multitudes of holy prophets, maintain the integrity of covenants made, and remember, remember that it is upon the rock of my Redeemer who is Jesus Christ that I must build my foundation (Helaman 5:12).

Maintaining freedom always requires some struggle. Pledging allegiance and remembering with a ready mind and heart are ways I daily renew my gratitude and commitment to both the national and eternal freedoms which are my precious gifts.

I’ve recently been reading Kevin Hinckley’s new book, Promptings or Me? Recognizing the Spirit’s Voice.  The author encourages the reader to prepare for effective prayer by reminding oneself, what I know for sure.  He supplies several things we know (or should know) for sure…number 1 is that God loves us and wants our happiness.

This is not a new concept.  I recently finished a couple-year stint working with the Young Women – with them we repeat every Sunday, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us…”  Yet, as I am honest with myself, I realize that I am very quick to distrust this truth.  It’s been one of the challenges of my life to hold consistently to the reality that God truly does love and treasure me and wants good things for my life – happiness, chief among them.  I’m very quick to find myself worrying that what God really wants is to test and prove me beyond my ability to cope and thus I will fail and suffer.  Again and again I’ve reminded myself of scriptures which teach a different truth.  And again and again have needed to overcome my own unfortunate early programming to believe the scriptures are true.

This morning as I truly worked to “counsel with the Lord” about a major decision I’m facing, I found myself weighing one alternative and quickly wondering whether the choice of that alternative might be pressing upon me because God has in mind some imminent “test” for me.  As quickly as the thought formulated, I felt an immediate awareness that “My thoughts are not your thoughts…” I realized – and felt confirmed – that what God desires for me in the aftermath of the present decision-making is not further testing, but rather genuine peace, peace, peace.  I felt an overwhelming warmth and the communication that my sacrifices over time have been accepted and that His deepest desire for me at this time is for me to recognize when enough is enough.  I felt His love literally wash over me and fill me to the brim.  I felt the clarity that this love is what he feels for all his children – and what he desires us to feel and experience from him. 

“I do not know the meaning of all things,” says Nephi, “but I know that God loveth his children.”  It is Truth.  Capital T.  God loves his children.  I am his child.  Wherever I wander, however difficult it is, at times, for me to believe and accept, God loves me.  God desires my eternal happiness.  And that happiness grows in small and simple ways not always connected to big tests and proving times.  This morning, in prayer, I felt peace…and confidence…that God knows me, hears me and just simply loves me.  Today is a very good day.

We’ve received a legitimate request for more posts on the blog, which means we need to get up to speed to post more regularly.  We will absolutely attempt to do so.  Promise!

I’ve recently, seredipitously, read two books with the same theme…The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  Both books center on finding more happiness in our current circumstances.  Both books have been valuable reminders to me.  My anxiety-prone self was particularly impacted by Voskamp’s chapter, “How will He not also” which begins, “God and I, we’ve long had trust issues.”  Can you relate?  I sure could.

I recognize how much my happiness, from day to day, is compromised by my addiction to anxiety.  There are lots of things I worry about – one or two things I obsessively worry about.  Voskamp accurately characterizes worry as a “ruse of control,” but then follows with a one-liner that went straight to the core of my heart, “Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is.”  Trust, she says, is work.  “Intentional and focused.  Sometimes, too often, I don’t want to muster the energy.  Stress and anxiety seem easier.  Easier to let a mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to reign her in, slip the blinders on and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead.  Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God?”

You know how when something is really right, it just slips into gear in your brain and you know that that message is exactly for you?  That’s what those statements about worry were for me.  I’ve been working on greater focus in my spiritual life for quite a while now.  Have been trying to hold onto a stronger and surer sense of God’s love for me…and His desire to give me good gifts.  I’ve spent a lot of years trying to stay hidden from God.  Afraid that if He really noticed me, surely He would test me with circumstances too overwhelming for me to bear.  That’s been a burden that has deeply compromised my relationship with Him.  I’m getting healthier about that.  Understanding and comprehending the events of my life that fed that fearful belief.  And aware that deeper happiness comes – in the very current circumstances of my life…in my deepened ability to trust God.  Trust that He is…that He genuinely and deeply knows and loves me…and that all is in His hands and thus, if it is, it’s right (I’m indebted to Catherine Thomas for that particular insight.)

God is a happy Being.  I feel confident of that.  And, loving His children, He desires us to be happy as well.  Despite challenges in our circumstances, I believe that we can be happy.  One way to get closer to it is to give up running in that (ridiculous, isn’t it?) “easier” course of worry and stress and disciplining ourselves, instead,  to mindful, genuine prayer.  “…trusting God is my most urgent need,” says Voskamp.  I second that motion.  “Thanks,” she says, “is what builds trust.”  I believe that…and am in the process of trying that out…but that’s the subject of another post.  Meantime, take a serious and honest look at that tendency to worry as a facade of keeping control and, honestly, an easier course for us, too often, than the sincere work of building trust.  Happiness, I think, is around that corner. 

First Big News!!! We have a date change on our next Arizona Retreat – we will meet on Saturday, April 16 from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at Superstition Springs Golf Club in Mesa. This is a date change from March 26. Too many conflicting events were getting in our way on that date. We hope you can ALL join us on Saturday, April 16. Comment here if you would like a registration form. Or message us on Facebook.

OR…2nd News Flash!!!!
Our website is all but finished! A couple further tweaks are still to come, including moving our blog to the website! But for now, check out the new site at the old address: www.sixteenstones.net and tell us what you think of the new design!

We can’t wait to hear from you!!!

Sorry, all, for that long absence. Since we last spoke on the blog, the Sixteen Stones crew has been busy with lots of activities. Carrie got married, Wendy has been promoting a new book (The Why of Work – co-authored with her husband, Dave) and Chris had the wedding of a son. We’ve also been busy discussing directions for Sixteen Stones and where we want to spend our efforts.

We are working on our website! That’s good news for any of you who have tried to navigate it in the past few years. We’ve been happy to have a site, but have found it unwieldy and difficult to update on our own. We want a site that’s much more user-friendly, understandable, and continuously updated. Our blog will also find a home there when it’s completed. We’re busily working with a website designer and hope the new site will be up and operational within the next month. When we get it so, you’ll be able to register for seminar/retreats right on the site. We’re excited for that day to come, but like all good things, it takes time to gestate. We’ll let you know as soon as it’s operational.

And the third piece of news is that we’re heading back to Arizona for a seminar/retreat on Saturday, March 26, 2011. The topic will be “Coping with Disappointment and Loss.” The reality is that our mortal lives bring us to times of both disappointment and loss pretty constantly. The job promotion that doesn’t materialize, chronic or terminal illness, infertility, finding myself living a life I don’t want in terms of relationships, marital status, or other difficulties, financial stress, depression, anxiety, loss of confidence in myself, divorce – my own or my parents’ – addiction, mental illness, losses in the extended family – the list can go on and on. This seminar/retreat is intended to build hope, lift spirits, open the way to new perspectives and growth and give us one of those sixteen stones of light in the darkness to help us move forward. The content will be appropriate for all LDS women. We hope you can join us, once again, at the Superstition Springs Golf Club on Baseline Road in east Mesa from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on March 26. The registration fee is $75 and includes lunch and mid-morning snacks. Comment here or message us on Facebook for a registration form.

We’ve set our calendar for 2011 and you can find it on the current website: www.sixteenstones.net. We hope there’s an offering there that interests you. We’re excited to do more sand tray work, create oases in our busy lives to pause, reflect and rejuvenate.

We hope to see you soon – here on the blog, on Facebook, and, especially, at one of our seminar/retreats. Come join us.