Finally! A new post. Had you given up? Here I am, back again…
And, at the beginning of a new year, with a resolution to do better at updating the Sixteen Stones blog regularly! I promise. Well, I resolve.

The problem with New Year’s resolutions, typically, is that we really want to change or improve something and we set a lofty goal. But we quickly learn that lasting change is the hardest thing we do in this life. We want something to change – maybe even profoundly want it…but somehow resisting that chocolate, keeping up with that new exercise program, or always governing our tongue against the gossiping word…it’s just too hard. And then, when we’ve fallen off the wagon once, it’s easier to do it the second time and, before long….the resolution has vanished into the fog of “what might have been….” And the sad thing is, we usually feel worse about ourselves because we just couldn’t manage the discipline to do even that…

Anthony Wolf, a children/adolescent psychotherapist encourages parents of teenagers to set rules for them, even when the teenagers seem to disregard those rules. He says that teens who have rules tend to behave better overall, than those who don’t. If you set a curfew at midnight and the teenager routinely comes in at 12:20 or 12:30 a.m., we can tend to think s/he’s disregarding the curfew. But, Wolf says, without the curfew at all, s/he might come in a 2 or 3 a.m. To be sure, there are some “rules” in our lives that are hard and fast. We generally call them commandments. But a rule is set to create a boundary to keep kids safe overall. And, Wolf says, if we reiterate the rule and tell our teenager that the rule remains in place and we won’t tolerate disrespect for it, typically, generally, the teenager will, more or less, abide by the rule. Now, that makes us uncomfortable sometimes, but I think the point is good. Set the rule. Reiterate the rule. When the rule is bent, remind and restate the rule and continue to expect respect for it. And, more or less, the teenager – seeking independence and distance from parents – all teens do – will keep it.

Perhaps that should be the way we think about resolutions. I want to be better at scripture study. I’m going to resolve to spend 30 minutes a day reading scriptures. Maybe I manage that four or five days a week. That’s better than last year when I only managed it once a month. I want to exercise faithfully five times a week. If I manage it three times, and remind myself that I want to do five, but acknowledge myself for the improvement of three, the resolution is helping me. If I resolve not to gossip, and find my loose tongue wagging and feel badly about it because I’ve broken the resolution, I remind myself of the resolution, renew my commitment to it and, I submit, that resolution is working. It’s working because it’s reminding me of the higher standard I’ve set and as I recommit to it and begin again, improvements will come…slowly, perhaps, over time…but that’s the way change becomes lasting and permanent. Slowly, a little bit at a time, over time. The scriptures refer to that as “line upon line,” or “grace for grace.”

I’ve made some resolutions this new year. And I’m holding a softer hand over myself as I work at them. January hasn’t been perfect. But my resolution continues to be the guiding star and, bit by bit, I’m getting closer to being the person I want to be. How about you?

This morning I listened to the Tabernacle Choir Broadcast celebrating Independence Day. I was particularly moved by Lloyd Newell’s words on patriotism. The questions were asked, “why do we have parades? Why do flags fly? Why do soldiers wear uniforms?” Bro. Newell explained that when we see the flag flying or hear patriotic music playing, it stirs and swells feelings of loyalty and allegiance in our hearts as we remember the hard-fought battle for freedom these symbols bring to mind.

I’m thinking of another hard-fought battle for freedom. One that took place in premortal realms. What are the symbols that remind me of that time and place – the symbols that swell loyalty and allegiance in my heart for the freedoms won in that painful altercation? A Primary song comes to mind…”Whenever I hear the song of a bird or look at the blue, blue sky, whenever I feel the rain on my face or the wind as it rushes by, whenever I touch a velvet rose or walk by our lilac tree, I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.” (Clara W. McMaster, Children’s Songbook, pg. 228). That I have a body and live in this beautiful world is evidence enough of where I stood in that battle. Symbol of the freedom I have inherited in heavenly realms.

Whether rejoicing in the freedom of my native America, or in the blessing of a body and a lovely world around me to enjoy, responsibility is required. I pledge allegiance to my nation as I reverence the sacrifices made that I may live and grow in freedom. I pledge allegiance to the Source and blessing of eternal freedom as I reverence the sacrifice of my Savior, of multitudes of holy prophets, maintain the integrity of covenants made, and remember, remember that it is upon the rock of my Redeemer who is Jesus Christ that I must build my foundation (Helaman 5:12).

Maintaining freedom always requires some struggle. Pledging allegiance and remembering with a ready mind and heart are ways I daily renew my gratitude and commitment to both the national and eternal freedoms which are my precious gifts.

I’ve recently been reading Kevin Hinckley’s new book, Promptings or Me? Recognizing the Spirit’s Voice.  The author encourages the reader to prepare for effective prayer by reminding oneself, what I know for sure.  He supplies several things we know (or should know) for sure…number 1 is that God loves us and wants our happiness.

This is not a new concept.  I recently finished a couple-year stint working with the Young Women – with them we repeat every Sunday, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us…”  Yet, as I am honest with myself, I realize that I am very quick to distrust this truth.  It’s been one of the challenges of my life to hold consistently to the reality that God truly does love and treasure me and wants good things for my life – happiness, chief among them.  I’m very quick to find myself worrying that what God really wants is to test and prove me beyond my ability to cope and thus I will fail and suffer.  Again and again I’ve reminded myself of scriptures which teach a different truth.  And again and again have needed to overcome my own unfortunate early programming to believe the scriptures are true.

This morning as I truly worked to “counsel with the Lord” about a major decision I’m facing, I found myself weighing one alternative and quickly wondering whether the choice of that alternative might be pressing upon me because God has in mind some imminent “test” for me.  As quickly as the thought formulated, I felt an immediate awareness that “My thoughts are not your thoughts…” I realized – and felt confirmed – that what God desires for me in the aftermath of the present decision-making is not further testing, but rather genuine peace, peace, peace.  I felt an overwhelming warmth and the communication that my sacrifices over time have been accepted and that His deepest desire for me at this time is for me to recognize when enough is enough.  I felt His love literally wash over me and fill me to the brim.  I felt the clarity that this love is what he feels for all his children – and what he desires us to feel and experience from him. 

“I do not know the meaning of all things,” says Nephi, “but I know that God loveth his children.”  It is Truth.  Capital T.  God loves his children.  I am his child.  Wherever I wander, however difficult it is, at times, for me to believe and accept, God loves me.  God desires my eternal happiness.  And that happiness grows in small and simple ways not always connected to big tests and proving times.  This morning, in prayer, I felt peace…and confidence…that God knows me, hears me and just simply loves me.  Today is a very good day.

 

We’ve received a legitimate request for more posts on the blog, which means we need to get up to speed to post more regularly.  We will absolutely attempt to do so.  Promise!

I’ve recently, seredipitously, read two books with the same theme…The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  Both books center on finding more happiness in our current circumstances.  Both books have been valuable reminders to me.  My anxiety-prone self was particularly impacted by Voskamp’s chapter, “How will He not also” which begins, “God and I, we’ve long had trust issues.”  Can you relate?  I sure could.

I recognize how much my happiness, from day to day, is compromised by my addiction to anxiety.  There are lots of things I worry about – one or two things I obsessively worry about.  Voskamp accurately characterizes worry as a “ruse of control,” but then follows with a one-liner that went straight to the core of my heart, “Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is.”  Trust, she says, is work.  “Intentional and focused.  Sometimes, too often, I don’t want to muster the energy.  Stress and anxiety seem easier.  Easier to let a mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to reign her in, slip the blinders on and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead.  Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God?”

You know how when something is really right, it just slips into gear in your brain and you know that that message is exactly for you?  That’s what those statements about worry were for me.  I’ve been working on greater focus in my spiritual life for quite a while now.  Have been trying to hold onto a stronger and surer sense of God’s love for me…and His desire to give me good gifts.  I’ve spent a lot of years trying to stay hidden from God.  Afraid that if He really noticed me, surely He would test me with circumstances too overwhelming for me to bear.  That’s been a burden that has deeply compromised my relationship with Him.  I’m getting healthier about that.  Understanding and comprehending the events of my life that fed that fearful belief.  And aware that deeper happiness comes – in the very current circumstances of my life…in my deepened ability to trust God.  Trust that He is…that He genuinely and deeply knows and loves me…and that all is in His hands and thus, if it is, it’s right (I’m indebted to Catherine Thomas for that particular insight.)

God is a happy Being.  I feel confident of that.  And, loving His children, He desires us to be happy as well.  Despite challenges in our circumstances, I believe that we can be happy.  One way to get closer to it is to give up running in that (ridiculous, isn’t it?) ”easier” course of worry and stress and disciplining ourselves, instead,  to mindful, genuine prayer.  “…trusting God is my most urgent need,” says Voskamp.  I second that motion.  “Thanks,” she says, “is what builds trust.”  I believe that…and am in the process of trying that out…but that’s the subject of another post.  Meantime, take a serious and honest look at that tendency to worry as a facade of keeping control and, honestly, an easier course for us, too often, than the sincere work of building trust.  Happiness, I think, is around that corner. 

First Big News!!! We have a date change on our next Arizona Retreat – we will meet on Saturday, April 16 from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at Superstition Springs Golf Club in Mesa. This is a date change from March 26. Too many conflicting events were getting in our way on that date. We hope you can ALL join us on Saturday, April 16. Comment here if you would like a registration form. Or message us on Facebook.

OR…2nd News Flash!!!!
Our website is all but finished! A couple further tweaks are still to come, including moving our blog to the website! But for now, check out the new site at the old address: www.sixteenstones.net and tell us what you think of the new design!

We can’t wait to hear from you!!!